How to Cope With the Death of a Friend From Work - The Muse

How to Cope With the Death of a Friend From Work - The MuseHow to Cope With the Death of a Friend From Work One Saturday I welches walking in my front door when my phone buzzed. It welches a Facebook messenger notification from my boss. Thats strange, I thought. It wasnt completely out of the norm to hear from zu sich this way, since I worked remotely, but not on a weekend. The note said to let her know when I had a few minutes. A sinking feeling. Had I done something wrong? I wrote her back and took a seat. Im glad I did, since her next message was shocking My co-worker had reisepassed away in her sleep and was found during a wellness check after no one had heard from her for a few days. Since we both worked remotely, wed never met in person. And some of her suggestions in ur virtual meetings drove me nuts- switching from Gmail to Outlook? Still, hadnt we just been talking online the other day?The news caught me off guard, and in the coming weeks, her absence affected me far more th an typical changes in workflow would have. Apparently, this isnt unusual.A colleagues death can impact you in ways you didnt expect, even if you werent close with this particular co-worker, says Jen Leong, a psychotherapist based in Long Beach, California. No matter what your relationship was like, a death will affect you and others in your workplace. Moving forward can be difficult, but there are ways to cope.Accept Your ReactionGrief comes in various stages and shows up in various ways at different times and there is no wrong way, says Erica Curtis, a marriage and family therapist based in San Juan Capistrano, California. Sometimes a death will cause a big reaction, even if you werent close. ur brain works off of associations, so when we have a loss, its going to automatically trigger the other losses weve experienced in our life and bring up those feelings as well, she explains. Other times, experiencing others large reactions will make you feel like you arent upset enough. Curti s says that instead of comparing, accept that this is just how I feel right now, and try not to listen to others who might judge. Take InitiativeNikki DeClue was working at an orthopedic office when she got the news that one of her co-workers was killed in a head-on collision. The day before, theyd swapped Secret Santa gifts at the company Christmas party, and they were friends outside of work, too. It was really hard to go back to work,DeClue said. I was used to seeing my friend every single day, but all I saw was the jacket she wore on the back of her chair.While the office didnt organize any memorial events or activities, DeClue and a couple of her other colleagues went to the hospital to check on their late co-workers husband and son, who had injuries from the crash. They later attended the funeral together.Following the death of a co-worker, a workplace might not take immediate steps to acknowledge it. If you feel compelled to do something or think itd be helpful for your colle agues, Curtis recommends approaching your direct supervisor and asking if itd be OK for you to organize something. Bring an idea thats not too disruptive to the workday, but gives staff the opportunity to get involved. An empty desk can feel heavy, Curtis says. But doing something as simple as leaving a memory journal there for people to write in can help. Depending on the connection to the late co-workers family, it might be appropriate to pass the book along to them once its full of remembrances. Morgan Irish-Georges co-worker was killed in a car accident en route to a vacation. Her boss gathered everyone together to talk about the death, Irish-George says, but several colleagues also took initiative to help everyone cope after the initial conversation. One employee arranged to have a therapy dog come walk through our offices and building to have a pet and a smile, she says. Another coordinated a grief counselor to be made available for a session for those who would like it.Seek S upport Wherever You Can Find ItDepending on the culture of the workplace, you may or may not be able to seek support at work. If management isnt open to memorial activities in the office, organizing an after-work gathering is another option. Its an opportunity for colleagues to create something on their own level, Curtis says, to come together to remember their colleague. It doesnt have to be formal- even meeting at a restaurant or grabbing a drink or coffee where everyone can chat could be beneficial.And if you feel like you need support and cant get it at the office or from your colleagues, Curtis recommends spending time with friends, your loved ones, or even a pet to feel connected to others outside your grief.Be Kind to YourselfIts crucial to take care of yourself, Curtis says. Eating healthy and exercising are good options, but it can be hard when youre grieving. You cant beat yourself up over it, she says. Instead look for smaller things, smaller moments of self-care. This ca n be as simple as noticing and focusing on the smell of your coffee in the morning or reaching out and texting someone youre thinking about to help you feel grounded. Typically in bereavement, going to work is a distraction, Leong says. But when the person who dies is your co-worker, that doesnt necessarily take you away from it. Moreover, she adds, part of bereavement includes being foggy-headed and distracted and thats going to impact productivity.If you notice youre distracted at your desk, instead of brushing it off as fatigue, recognize that you might be grieving. And make space for your emotions, Curtis says. Feelings get stronger and bigger because they dont feel like theyre being heard or acknowledged. She recommends doodling or imagining a container and asking your feelings to go there, not to be locked up, but to wait until they can be processed outside of the workday. Beyond these exercises, you might be able to take advantage of grief-related programs or services some wo rkplaces offer through HR, and you might want to seek out therapy. If the workplace is becoming a trigger, Curtis recommends talking with your manager about setting up flex time or seeing if you can take anywhere from a couple days to weeks off. Know That it Takes TimeMore than 10 years ago, when Jen Giangregorio was working in retail, a co-worker drowned one weekend. He was young and smart and he just drowned, Giangregorio says. It was horrible. We were all devastated, she adds. I mucksmuschenstill think about it.The loss of a co-worker will always be in your thoughts, and could be triggered 20 years after the event. Theres no quick fix, says Leong. You will always know this has happened and the person will always be gone. Be patient and give yourself space to express your emotions when they come up.After my colleagues death, the rest of us continued working, but the company temporarily put a pause on any new tasks. We sent a floral arrangement to my co-workers family, and I eventu ally took over some of her responsibilities. It was weird to delete her off our Trello and Monday boards, and I caught myself trying to send her an email a couple of times. But while I still think of her nearly a year later- and Im sure Im not the only one- weve managed to reach a new normal.

How to Work With Someone You Hate- The Muse

How to Work With Someone You Hate- The MuseHow to Work With Someone You HateNearly every day, my client Sean arrived at work to a voicemail from zu sich co-worker Jackson, who was three time zones away. Call me as soon as you get this, barked the voice on the other end. Youve got big problems here It was one of the most difficult working relationships shed ever had. Negative. Blaming. Self-centered. Mean. In short, it gave her a reason to hate coming to work every day. And maybe you have one, too a colleague you absolutely dread coming in contact with during the workday, whether he or she works in your cube, around the corner, or across the country. In your mind, he or she exists solely to make your life a living hell. As much as youd probably prefer to simply ignore the part, you need to find a way to work past your differences. Why? Research shows that the better the relationships you have at work, the more productive, successful, and satisfied youll be.So if youre stuck in the off ice with a person who you just dont like, its in your best interest to figure out how to deal with it. Heres how.1. Get to Know the PersonAs a human, you have a tendency to like people who are like you. Its a psychological occurrence called the mere exposure affect.If your unlikable office mate is very different from you, that fact alone may keep you from building a better relationship with him or her- regardless of his or her behavior. So, force yourself out of your comfort zone and reach out to your co-worker to get to know him or her on a more personal level. The more you get to know someone, the more you may recognize similarities between you- and the more likely youll be to change your mind about him or her.2. Dont Take the Behavior PersonallySean would often make comments like, Jackson hates me- I know it or, Im sure Jacksons out to get me. She was observing his behavior and interpreting it as an intentional, direct attack on her. In reality, its more likely that Jacksons pers onal history was driving his behavior. In The Four Agreements, Miguel Ruiz encourages readers to take nothing personally. Nothing others do is because of you, he writes. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you wont be the victim of needless suffering. Jacksons behavior- whether it stemmed from childhood issues, poor role models in the workplace, or a lack of self-confidence- was far more about him than it was about Sean. 3. Set BoundariesOne of the challenges of unlikable people is that they come with equally unlikable behavior- and its important to learn how to distance yourself from that behavior. As Robert Frost said, Good fences make good neighbors. Sean had to learn how to determine and communicate boundaries for her interactions with Jackson. For example, instead of simply taking the urgent phone calls every day and letting the anger build up, she learned to confront Jackson and say, I feel frustrated when you exaggerate how bad a situation is. Please ca ll me prepared with specific facts and examples that I can take action on. 4. Try the Little ThingsSome of my clients have admitted that the people who once rubbed them the wrong way are now their best friends. And it wasnt because the disliked colleague had a sudden, major transformation. Instead, my clients took small, incremental actions to better the workplace relationship. And I mean small- like saying Good morning or Have a good night when you pass the person in the office, offering to grab him or her a latte on a coffee run, or giving an affirming smile or nod after the person makes a helpful comment in a meeting. You cant change the other person. But you can change the energy you spend on him or her- from negative and resentful to positive and generative. Little by little, these small gestures will help fill you with (at least a little) positivity about the person who irritates you. 5. Control What You CanOne of the biggest stressors I see in the workplace is the desire for people to control what they cannot. They wish their boss was nicer, the company had a different culture, or their colleagues were more likable. But, as you probably know, your real leverage lies in the things you can control. Sean certainly could not control Jacksons legendary voicemail tirades, but she was able to take a few deep breaths, ask for more specific facts, avoid responding with knee-jerk emotion, and get to the heart of the message underneath the outbursts. dorfwiese and frustration are a choice you make. Instead, choose behaviors that allow you to manage conflict more effectively and with a more positive mindset.6. Take a BreakSometimes, you just have to step away from the people who arent allowing you to be your very best self. There were days, for example, when Sean simply responded that shed get back to Jackson at a later date or time. No one needs to be a hero every hour of the day. You can excuse yourself from a hallway conversation, choose a day to work remotely, or plan a day that involves absolutely no meetings with your colleague. Sure, it cant be every day. But when you need to take a step back, do it.Its not all unicorns and rainbows in the workplace, thats for sure. For every person you love working with, its likely therell be another you find equally repellant. But if you take specific steps to make that relationship more of a generative force and less of a negative one, youll find more success, satisfaction and support in your work. Photo of angry person courtesy of Shutterstock.

5 Ways You Should Research a Potential Employer

5 Ways You Should Research a Potential Employer5 Ways You Should Research a Potential EmployerResearch is key. Thats the definitive statement everyone at Vault makes when offering tips to college students about to embark on a dedicated internship or job search.Why do we tell people this? Most interviews begin with the question, So, what do you know about us? And if you dont do the research, you can end up making a huge job interview mistake right from the start, the type of mistake that is really hard to recover from. The best way to avoid that mistake is to just do the research.Here are some tips to help you through the process1. Use Vault.com Lets get the ausverkauf pitch out of the way. But in all honesty, if youre looking to research a potential employer to determine your own interest in working at a particular company, the best way is to learn from current employees. Vault sends out surveys every year to rank companies in a variety of industries and offers employees an anonymou s means to review their employer on such categories as quality of life, firm culture, leadership, etc. And users can be certain the employees actually work at the companies, so the comments made are official and carry a lot of weight with job seekers looking to work for a company that offers great pay and benefits, training opportunities, and a desirable work-life balance. And if you work in the legal industry, theres always the newly published Vault Guide to the Top 100 Law Firms, 2017 Edition. OK sales pitch is over.2. Find Employees or Former Employees If you know someone who works at a company or used to work at a company you are looking to interview at, its OK to reach out to them. At best, they may be able to put in a good word for you with the right people. At the very least, they should be able to give you a sense of what its like to work at the company. They may offer you some insight on what to say during the interview, which topics to avoid, and who to connect with for a better shot at getting your foot in the door. If you dont know someone, find contacts using LinkedIn and see if you can network with them or have someone you know facilitate a connection.3. The About Us Section If youre going in to an interview, you should know exactly how the company views itself. The best way to do that is to read through the companys About Us section on its website. This is where you go to get the complete Who, What, Why, Where, When, and How. When was the company founded, where is its main headquarters, who works there, who do they serve, what exactly is the companys function, what is its mission, and how does the company accomplish its goals. Get that company jargon down, so you can recite it perfectly in your own words and truly demonstrate your interest in working there.4. Research Your Interviewers This was discussed in a previous blog about panel interviews to help candidates better connect with interviewers. Its just as essential, if notlage more so, d uring the one-on-one job interview. Once you learn who is interviewing you, check out their profile on the companys website and find their information on LinkedIn. While LinkedIn does notify users when their profile has been viewed, those users should be impressed with your efforts to best prepare for an interview. You can always look at profiles in private mode, if you feel less awkward doing so. Take all the information you can find, including education, previous employers, and a list of accomplishments, and try to tie it into your own life. If you can find that connection and build on it, you may have found yourself an ally in the hiring process.5. Research News and Press Releases The best way to ascertain a companys goals, its achievements, its future, and the publics perception of the company is through the media. Company news may determine whether or not you want to work for a particular organization. And, when combined with your other research, it can certainly help you deve lop questions you can ask at the end of the interview. Thats a great way of highlighting your interest in the company and the job. In addition, if the company is receiving bad press, without actually mentioning the news item, you can use that to your advantage and answer questions in a way that highlights your ability to fix problems brought up in the article.Getting a job takes a lot of work and is not always centered on looking up job openings and filling out applications. Those who do the best with their job search go the extra mile. Make sure you stay ahead of the pack. Do your research. Be an informed job seeker.Like What You Read? Sign Up for our Newsletter.Follow me on Twitter. Follow Vault on Twitter and Instagram.

Hybrid Cars Compete for Speed

hybrid Cars Compete for Speed Hybrid Cars Compete for Speed Hybrid Cars Compete for SpeedWhen many think of a hybrid vehicle, they think about the environmental benefit, not racing. At the New Hampshire Motor Speedway, theyre thinking about winningand learning. The Formula Hybrid competition, now in its second decade, challenges racers to work within the constraints, and see the opportunities, of this alternative vehicle.A race allowing for inlet restrictors, it started using Formula SAE rules but major differences are found in the electrical drive system. That required fairly extensive safety rules for the electrical systems. Elements like maximum voltage insulation, battery safety systems, and mora come into play, says Doug Fraser, director of the Formula Hybrid competition.Perhaps the most significant segment of the event is the endurance stage. It has an energy limit and is run on a hilly section of the road course at the New Hampshire Motor Speedway. Drivers complete 22 laps of one kilometer each and it must be done on 35.5 megajoules, Fraser says.Therepresently are two categories of cars.Eventually organizers wantall hybrids but presently the field is filled by including electrics, he says.Every vehiclestarts with the same amount of energy. In a perfect world, drives would coast across the finish line on an empty fuel tank and Fraser said theyve had gruppes that pretty much did that.One such memorable moment was when the University of Texas at Austin team ran their systems completely dry, Fraser says. The car was on the track and stopped on the very last lap, needing five minutes to get 100 yards. The crowd, as he recollects, was just fired up by the drama of whether the team could finish.Events have also been scheduled in the past to focus on areas such as maneuverability and acceleration.Reliability, in the end, truly is key, as the majority of teams arrive still trying to finish their cars. For this problem, the organization has project management repo rts and status updates to try to keep them on track.MSOEs Formula Hybrid team took second distributionspolitik in the world at the Formula Hybrid Competition and first place in the United States. Image Milwaukee School of EngineeringJockeying for PositionOne team that excelled and finished second at last years event was the Milwaukee School of Engineering. David Roulo, who is now project manager for the team, says they focused on reliability.We had a cool idea for the transmission but we learned it had to be something for the future, says the mechanical engineering major. We decided to go with a chain drive for last years competition and made it all in house. It was machined by one of our sophomore members in our machine shop. There was a lot of work in finding the right gear reduction ratios. We had a lot of underclassmen and were asking them to do a lot outside of what they were learning.The competition has seen much growth in enthusiasm. Finishing fourth in 2015, we attracted mor e members and the second place finish has seen so many join,says Roulo.This year we have 15 seniors and 49 underclassmen. We have so many people who want to help.Team members are even working on the future now. You have a chassis were working on that could be a part of things as early as 2018, he says. Another group is working on a future pedal box. We never stop thinking.Roulo, who has been a part of the team since his freshman year and is now a senior, says he takes much more with him than just the thrill of competition.Ive gained great knowledge in how to operate machine shop tools a lathe, a mill. Its important in that it makes you learn to build your own parts, he says. That started from freshman year. I learned a lot more about electrical systems than I ever thought I would and gained knowledge of how a hybrid works and how to design a chassis for a racing application. It took extra effort to learn these things outside of class and, the great thing is, Im still learning.Eric B utterman is an independent writer.I learned a lot more about electrical systems than I ever thought I would and gained knowledge of how hybrids work and how to design a chassis for a racing application. It took extra effort to learn these things outside of class and, the great thing is, Im still learning.David Roulo, Milwaukee School of Engineering

The Nuiances of Job Resume for High School Student

The Nuiances of Job Resume for High School Student The very first section of your resume should consist of information on the way the employer can contact you. Youll be adding new info, naturally, however you will also be deleting older entries. Then youll move on to other resume examples that tell you just how to present your educational info and any special skills youve got. If you do a resume example search, you can also find cover letter examples too. Things You Should Know About Job Resume for High School Student Your probability of getting a job increases whether the business sees in you a longer-term potential. Do that, and youre going to be your very first picks very first pick. Wish you good luck and discover a great job in the job-seeking practice. Fantastic luck with your work search. Understanding Job Resume for High School Student Time availability shouldnt be included on a resume. RESUME STYLES There are plenty of styles of resumes together with many variat ions. Creating your resume is vital. Your resume will be broken into sections. Simply adhere to the directions and suggestions, and youll learn just how to capture the attention of hiring managers. To begin with, examine the job description to see whether it indicates the kind of skills the provider is seeking. Our technicians will kindly answer each one of your questions. Resumes give potential employers a means to learn about applicants quickly and readily, and theyre your very first step toward new job opportunities. Employers want to get competent people who will earn a substantial contribution to their company. They look for staff who have a history of making positive contributions. They already know that you want their job, so instead its better to write an elevator pitch at the top of the page that will help your potential employer understand you as a person and remember whats on your resume. The New Angle On Job Resume for High School Student Just Released Include your high school in the education section when its the maximum level of education youve received. Employers can learn all they will need to understand about a candidate from their school performance, which means that your Education section should reflect well on you. Your education ought to be a focus in your resume. High school students may require a resume to submit an application for work or as an element of a university application. It can be a challenging time in the life of a student because he or she is expected to bag a job after graduating. It resume templates are a great resource for such students. High school resume templates offer a valuable resource for students. You are able to have the ideal college admissions resume on the planet. Writing a winning college student career objective is a rather effortless means to bolster your application for this internship or job youve got in sight. Next, you will discover how to earn a college resume prepared for the big l eagues Theres lots of competition for jobs for high school students, which means you need to make certain you stick out from the crowd. You might believe that you dont require a resume when applying for employment while youre totenstill in high school. Either can demonstrate the dean youre more than only an application. Though you might not have a work history or lengthy collection of impressive degrees, you can definitely find something to include. A well-written one is going to impress on the hiring manager the manners in which you are a perfect candidate for the job. Even in the event that youve never held an official job, its still true that you have life experience thats applicable to the work search. You will need experience to have a job, but you want a job to acquire experience. Your experience and the sort of job which you are applying for will help to ascertain the style of resume you use. You will get unique texts, which will be finished in time. However tempting it may be to stretch the truth, lying on your resume is always a poor idea. With a social media resume, youre making an effort to impress many individuals, therefore it is important to follow key design and structure principles to ensure that your very first impression gets it proper. You just need to choose the one which you have to use and then use your resume example in order to produce the ideal letter for your resume.

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